11.11.11

the weird reputation - are you given it? Or do you give it?

I love mocha. Whenever we have it on hand, I'm always toting along a mug of mocha. In this story, I poured my mocha in a travel mug, grabbed my knitting and the video camera, and dashed into our twelve passenger van.

We stopped at the gas station to pick up eight people (which left us with a full van). I don't like traveling with people I don't know very well. I took the back window seat and my twin brother squeezed next to me. Somehow, someone heard that I had brought along mocha. They laughed their heads off. Crushed, I hid underneath my knitting.

Here I was, the youngest in a van full of grown ups and basketball players, weird enough to bring along mocha. Ironically, the person who laughed brought coffee. I didn't get the joke.

Except for my twin brother, no one talked to me. Two girls in front of me happily chattered (they were way cool, I didn't dare talk to them.)

We were lost in a city (I forgot the name) and we ended up going around in circles, right past a group of boys walking on the sidewalk.

"He's super cute." One girl noted. One of the guys in the van was annoyed and asked who said it.

"Bethany did."

I froze. My knitting needle was still clutched in my hand. There was laughter everywhere.

"I didn't." I stammered, flushing. My twin brother retorted angerly,

"My sister would never say that."

"Yeah right."

The damage was done. I stared hard out of the window, and continued knitting while the laughter began to die down. One of the girls turned around,

"I'm sorry, I hope that didn't hurt your feelings." She said it kinda quietly, unsure if she just ruined my change of ever saying anything again.

"No, it's fine." (It wasn't, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings)

She smiled and turned around and started up the conversation with her friend.

xxxxxx

Being weird is uncomfortable. I don't enjoy the feeling where I know that I am the weirdo. Everything I do is perfectly normal, but most people haven't heard of a fourteen-year-old who loves to knit. Or clean. Especially if they like mocha.

I've gotten over the story mentioned above, no one remembers it except for me. Video taping basketball is over (hopefully forever) and I can now hide in my house and be the weirdest person who ever walked the earth.

One of the worst things I struggle with is keeping myself respectable. I try to avoid situations which ruin my reputation. Like climbing up an open ladder in a skirt to save a crying two-year-old while a bunch of people are crowded below. Or losing a tooth while eating a carrot at a Thanksgiving meal.

I can sorta stand the instances where I brought shame upon myself, but I cannot get over the instances where someone else brought it on me. If there's anything in life that hurts me the most, it's being the oddball. The person who's laughed at. That crazy Bergmann girl who smiles all the time.

Most people (including myself) tend to leave out the oddball or pick on the weirdo. For instance:

I used to be the most popular girl in my Sunday school class. I was in 3rd grade, and "the gal" so to speak. My table consisted of my best friend, Ama, my amazing teacher, and this other girl, Jasmine. Jasmine was the prettiest girl you could imagine. She had dark hair which she had pulled back, dark coffee skin, pretty eyes, nice smile...except she was shy. She said nothing. Literally. And she had had a disease on her arm which left it deformed. She tried to be my friend. She sat by me every Sunday, she'd always flash a smile, and she had a look about her which said, "Talk to me." I didn't.

Ama and I tried to befriend her, but she would say nothing. Finally, it came to the point where we'd say hello and then Ama and I would began to talk and exclude her. One day, she didn't come. The next Sunday, she didn't come.

I never saw her again, and even today, I regret that I labeled her "weird" just because she wouldn't talk to me.

So, are you labeled with a "weird" reputation, or do you give out the label, or both?


13 comments

  1. Brothers are amazing, I'm not sure what I'd do without mine.

    And yes, I'm labeled as weird. I've just gotten to deal with it. To be honest, I just really don't care what others think. I've never really given out the label though, probably because I've always been different.

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  2. wow,Bethany,I've never been in a situtation like that. The one people making fun of you that is. I can't believe a girl did that. You hanled it prtty well,good thing is those people aren't worth you even sitting near if they act like that. I sometimes wonder why girls pin stuff on other girls.

    This post was def. food for thought. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. I don't think there's anything wrong with being "weird", myself. But maybe that's because I, myself,am often labled "weird". :P

    God called His people to be a "peculiar" people. They're different. Jesus himself was labled far worse than "weird," - so there must not be anything wrong with it.

    I know it's hard to stand out, sometimes, but God made everybody different and His love isn't with-held from people who stand out from others. So, in a word of comfort, when people give you that "look" out of the corner of their eye, or you feel inferior or awkward, remember that God made you the way you are - and LOVES you that way. :)

    (From your weird friend.) *hug*

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  4. Hmmm..I don't know about y'all, but I have a very bad problem of giving other people "labels"...

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  5. I just noticed the song lyrics on the side....Blessings is currently one of my favorite songs:)
    -Alex
    BTW....did you and Bailey do that on purpose? Your latest blog posts have the same themes...LOL:)

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  6. Yes, I am often considered "weird." I don't think I have ever been in a situation quite like yours... but people often give me odd stares and looks of "omgosh I'm so glad I'm not her."

    And I will admit, I have put other people under labels. Maybe not told them that or been rude about it, but in my mind I've thought things like "wow, she's really strange..." I'm really glad you made this post. There's is nothing wrong with being "weird" or the odd one out (in fact, Jesus tells us to stand out) but in this society being different is a bad thing. But it's not. It's an awesome thing.

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  7. When I play beseball in summer, I'm accepted by the guys, but for the girls of my age, I'm labeled "weird". Even if we were good friends two or three years ago.

    Now I don't have a lot of "good" friends. Because almost all the girls I know go at school, and when I see them they talk about some persons they know, and me not, and about guys. So I'm a little rejected. And labeled weird...

    Almost all my real friends live at 1-2h in car of my house, or two days in car. ;) So I can't see them really often. *sad face*

    But I have a wonderful family, it's important for me. You know what it is. :)

    Miss you lots Flop!

    *hugs*

    Marieanne

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  8. That's never fun. Good job for Christian!

    I can probably can also get the "credit" for giving out labels. Not a good things seeing that the Bible says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

    It's kindof hard for me like at a homeschool gathering, I stick with my friends...and they stick with theirs.

    Wow, *another* thought provoking post!

    Love you!

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  9. :o) Floppeth girl, they didn't think you were weird. You were just super self-conscious back then. They wanted to include you in on a joke -- like you wanted to include Jasmine.

    (But also, some people aren't the greatest at making jokes. What on earth is funny about mocha?)

    I think our weird labels come from ourselves -- we think we're weird. We feel different from other people. So we aggravate the differences, blinding ourselves to the fact that people really do like us and want to include us.

    This is something I've preached to myself over and over. I wonder how many fun times I could have had if I'd given people the benefit of the doubt and laughed at myself.

    *HUGS* to you, from your Weird Sister

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  10. Um, yeah. Sounds pretty familiar. But then again...when we are Christians in non-christian groups (and even in some christian groups) we will always be different since we are trying to follow God. He is calling us to stand with Him 'outside the camp, bearing His reproach'.

    -Carli

    P.S. I'm hosting a photo challenge. Check it out! http://reflectionsaphotographyblog.blogspot.com/2011/11/snapshot-saturday-holiday-decore.html

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  11. That's an awful thing to happen, Bethany. *cringes*

    However, imagine being the girl who said that. Imagine letting something like that pop out and then realize it wasn't thought funny by whoever you did it to!

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  12. Ps. I don't think you're weird. ...I re-read my comment and thought I should mention that. :)

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  13. Hmm. I like what Lizzi says about trying to make a joke and then suddenly realizing the other person didn't think it was funny. Still, it makes me irritated that she said that to you. I'm glad Christian was there and...probably good for everybody that I wasn't there. ;-)

    Can I ask who these kids were that you were with, because, really, what's so funny about mocha? Personally, I love mocha, coffee...all the like.

    P.S.
    Miss you, Flop and your whole family. I emailed your mom about getting together for New Year's Eve. Hope to see you all soon!!!

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Maira Gall