ode to a sister conversation(s)

This post may be rather controversial, and I gladly welcome any comments of different opinion! I admit, I rather rambled in this post, so some of my ideas or conclusions may be a little cloudy, so if you have any questions, I will attempt to explain!
Via Pinterest

"Poor General Lee!"

My sister, very sympathetic, proceeded to retell the hilarious woe of poor General Lee.

I sat, doing something that obviously wasn't important, because I don't remember what I was doing.

"...and he nearly suffocated from all the ants and spiders until the men finally got off him."

"Huh?" I asked incredulously - this sounded like an interesting story. Realising my error, we both howled with laughter (it's rather an inside joke, because I always accuse her of not listening).

If there's anyone who can argue effectively or keep a conversation going, it's her.

We were sitting at the dining room table eating upside-down caramel apple cake. That topic being stay at home daughters.

"I don't want to be labeled as a stay-at-home-daughter, but a follower of Christ..." (quoth she, but this is the short-term memory loss Bethany version of the quote) "Someone could follow all the rules of stay-at-home-daughter-hood, and yet not be a Christian."

"Girls get upset because I want to go to college, because I'm such a godless person," she continued, "or how dare someone wear pants."

Insert Bethany - Well, certainly there's nothing wrong without going to college, or without wearing pants, or using the term "stay-at-home-daughter", but it all focuses on the wrong focal point.

As in this post, it does bother me that many girls are marriage crazy. Their whole life is marriage. I must do this-and-this to prepare for marriage. I must act a certain way to prepare for marriage. If I don't learn how to cook, I'll fail as a wife. I must grow close to Christ, or I won't be prepared for marriage.There's nothing wrong with getting married. Cooking is a wonderful skill. Most girls are going to get married. But where is Christ in there? Is He just part of the utensils in the hope chest? Are we wasting our life on a dream that might not happen?

She also mentioned something more, in one of our midnight conversations:

"I could have missed out on friendships if I refused to treat them as sisters in Christ, just because they had lower standards in dress than I did. We shouldn't require dress to be something we have in common with close friends, but Christ is what matters in those friendships. I found out I had a lot in common with girls spiritually, than I did outwardly."

I think we as Christian girls tend to jump on others because they don't have our standards, or they seem a little too "worldly" for us. We like to sit up on high and look down at the "godless" Christians. If that person has Christ, isn't that enough in common to at least treat them normally?

What are your thoughts?

- Bethany

p.s. on a lighter note, spell check says "labeled" is not a word. It suggests "label ed".


  1. That sister person of yours is quite a character. She talks too much.

    Obviously, I haven't retracted anything since yesterday's upside-down apple cake episode, and I'm very glad you learned this sooner than I did. Christ should be more than just "utensils in the hope chest" (good one)...and hope chest utensils and girly dreams and dress and education should all be used to further His glory, not our own idea of godliness.

    Though I really wish I was more interested in cooking. Beyond being a very desirable quality in future wifehood, it's quite essential to feed oneself. I like boxed macaroni, but not exclusively.

    p.s. Your spellcheck is probably in Djibutese or something.

  2. And did I mention I adore you? Our conversations are the best...even when you don't pay attention. xoxo

  3. Bethany Grace,

    I am curious: How do you treat godless people? Do you treat people who don't have Christ abnormally?

    I guess what I am interested in is: How do you interpret The Gospel According to Matthew 28.18-20? Is it not in your Bible? Or does it not apply to you, because, like Stephen [The Acts of the Apostles 6.1-5], your job is to support those who are to do that?

    Please, don't take this as sarcastic or an attempt to put you down. The story of Stephen has always fascinated me, and I think it is what a "stay-at-home-daughter" thinks her duty is. Just as I find my duty in Paul's First Epistle to the Thessalonians 4.11-12 and the words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave wither thou goest."

  4. It can be and is easy to see others who look (as you use) un-godly and look down on them, maybe because they're "different".
    I like the last sentence in your last paragraph: "If that person has Christ, isn't that enough in common to at least treat them normally."

  5. @ Tragedy 101 - I'm sorry if I read your comment backwards, I tried to understand it best I could. ;) -

    How do I treat unbelievers? I hope I treat them in love, or just like anyone else. My whole point about, 'If that person has Christ, isn't that enough in common to at least treat them normally,' was geared towards people who tend to treat other Christians differently, because they have different or lower convictions. I guess that did seem like people who don't have Christ are to be treated abnormally, but that was not intended at all!

    I do believe Matthew 28:18-20 applies, we are to go out to unbelievers and teach them the truth. Christ clearly made that clear. And I do think also that we should encourage those who already are in Christ with just as much effort with those who are not.

    I hope that answered your question, and your comment did not put me off at all. I was actually very encouraged by it! Thank you!

  6. I know those late night conversations with sisters, the topics usually can be all over the map, ah I love those conversations. I coming from a big family I was trained by my mother and so were my sisters, she taught us all she knew not as, someday you will marry and you need to know this, but because it is a wonderful skill to know how to run an efficient house. I do think lots of people worry if there not married, I know lots of people are worried for all my sisters who aren't yet. I think its a big thing to know God has your life, and trust HIm with your soul mate there really is no rush. it makes me sad when people don't relax and trust there life to God and try to do something when he could do it so much better, and most of the time they aren't as happy as they should be, isn't it so much more special to say I waited for you ? and how much more sweeter will it be when He brings the right two hearts together. As to the outward appearance I'm also saddened when people are offended by others, I know jesus didn't judge the outward appearance, now I know its human nature to judge and I have to remind my self would you like to be judged like that ? and most of the time I know I wouldn't. Its really about realizing that people aren't perfect and that we should love them all. I'm my own life my family was judged for being different, I guess not a lot of people are used to seeing a family of 12, its important to portray the love of God in every thing we do, I know a lot of people who would judge someone because they wear short skirts and things like that, but I know they don't know better and its sad that they don't realize they might be turning someone off to the love of jesus if they think that there is no real love. God looks at the heart, some of the loveliest people come in "different" packages. the conviction will if there is any needed should come from the Holy spirit. I don't think if you wear pants you are unchristian, My family wears both, well the girls of corse, but I know some who think its impure, but I don't go by what people say, I go by the lord and the motive of my heart, if that is pure I have no problem. Oh and I think going to college is wonderful, I know my mother sometimes wishes she finished college, she went for art and I would like to go and study art some day... I think God has a plan for everyone! and if his plan is for someone to be a career woman and have a family, then he will give you the grace for that, He gives everyone different dreams and I truly believe that if we follow him he will make our path clear, if every woman stayed at home and had children, not that I'm against that I'm all for it, but we wouldn't have half the wonderful Godly women to look up to who did a lot to change the world. I guess I'm trying to say that in what ever we do if we keep the Lord the motive behind what we do and we keep Him the king of our lives, He will lead us into our Destiny.

  7. You just shook my world with this post. Because I realized that I do treat Christians with certain convictions exactly the way I treat non-Christians.

    Thank you, Bethany Grace, for answering my questions as if you could see into my mind and knew what I was trying to ask.

  8. This is a trap that is all too easy to fall into, and one that I am only just beginning to recognize. I am slowly learning that their is more to godliness than wearing skirts 24/7 and avoiding all rock/pop music like the plague – we must not dismiss other Christians as 'weak and compromised' (or add any other such label) simply because they are less strict than we are in these areas. Hopefully you understand what I mean – I could say more, but it is late!

    Sister conversations – they are some of the best!



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Maira Gall