the girl who wanted to change

There is a girl who wants to change. Her life isn't perfect, her talents aren't polished, her family is sometimes a wreck, and she is has problems. She has dreams too. She knows she trapped and she knows she cornered, but what she doesn't know, is how to get out of it.

I was this girl. My life was purposeless, my identity was fake, my family bickered as much as anyone's, and my goals were non-existent. I've told you my life story of how I was adopted into the family of God, but what I haven't told you, is how I live in the family of God.

Despite the resolve to surrender everything to him, my enthusiasm drops there. I surrendered what I could, and hoped for the best. But it wasn't the best. I knew what was holding me back.

My fear to serve.

I've gotten over my woes of not being "beautiful". I don't care if people think I'm awkward. I don't mind anymore that I'm not so amazing as I thought I was. But I did mind that God had called me, and I had refused his call in a particular area.

To get it out of my system, I talked about it. And then shoved it to the back of my mind and put it on the shelf of "things I want to forget".

That is, until I discovered it thrown right back in my path. The one thing I couldn't do was thrown back at me, and my reaction was, "Oh. No."

Not this God! I can't do this! I tried already, and I'm too chicken!

"Coincidentally" I skyped a friend who was more than encouraging, and I reluctantly looked into the situation and discovered that everything was practically screaming for me to stop resisting and just obey - because it's going to be okay. God didn't lose His mind - I had.

And now that I found it again, people are going to assume I really lost it this time. But I can't ignore that calling, and I can't ignore that need.


  1. Amen!

    We really do need to just "let go" and let God have His way...


  2. That is so true. Thank you for sharing, Bethany Grace. Sometimes God is just waiting for us to let go, to do amazing things.

    Oh, I am really enjoying your blog, by the way. I am a new follower! :) Come over and visit me sometime @ www.maid4him.blogspot.com and follow if you like:)

    Mikailah @ Maid For Him


© Everyday Memoirs
Maira Gall