19.6.12

when you feel unworthy




It's like sitting down on my bed and remembering I forgot to get into the word that day, or snapped the head off one of my unfortunate siblings, or I completely ruined a perfect opportunity to make someone feel loved or to share Christ. It's a face palm moment where I want to curl into a ball and pretend that life is nonexistent for a certain Bethany Grace. Sometimes, I really do regret that slapping yourself isn't the same as a nice good slap to revive the senses - but it'll have to do.

So while I sit on my bed and cry and grumble that I'm feeling unworthy, more often than not I remember a little something.

I am

Unworthy.

Truly, of course, not what most people like admitting (myself included) but truly, of course, what all people are. Heaven forbid that I should start blowing my ego status up to worthiness.

I am unworthy and I still am sinful and I most certainly (honest-to-goodnessly) make mistakes. Countless, actually. The only "worthiness" I have is because there's this amazing God who (for some reason I possibly can't understand or even try to comprehend) loves me. The unworthy sinner (who feels like it, too) is loved by God. The worthy, righteous God.

It's so easy for the unworthy me in myself to try to please this worthy God so I'll feel accepted. I shove and shove and shove and pull towards pleasing God and making sure I keep that place. I forget I'm already worthy, not because of what my unworthy self did, but because of what the worthy God did.

That - my friends - is sort of an important thing to remember. Just so you know.

3 comments

  1. Beautiful post in every way. The pictures are gorgeous and dreamy and your words calmed and encouraged my heart. Thank you so much, Bethany!

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  2. "It's a face palm moment where I want to curl into a ball and pretend that life is nonexistent for a certain Bethany Grace."

    Or for a certain Melody Joy. I so do this too. Especially the last couple of days.

    Thank you for this reminder.

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  3. Love this. So true.

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Maira Gall