13.8.12

selfies | the tricks of the trade

I read photography blogs. I like to scroll through the fantabulous pictures. It gives me inspiration.

Lucky ducky for me, I just happen to have a camera! This isn't just any camera, it's a Kodak M580 which guarantees perfect portraits, world-winning photos and a warranted focusing ability.

Sadly para mi, the so-said warranted focusing ability is shot. I've never once encountered a perfect portrait nor have I had a world-winning photo.

Sound like you? This post is for all you point and shoot photographers wanting to shake your photographing experience! Care to lend an ear to this 1-2-3 advice?

Fashion Glare: grab that snobby stare. I achieved this easily with my messy bangs (which I cut), tired-eye-look, and spending an hour without my box fan (giving that heat stroke look). Altogether, you'll pull off this amazing stunt and shock the photographing world around you!

Star-gazed-syndrome: that's right! Snag this look by pretending the bed post is none other than your Prince Charming! A half smile, annoyed eyes and a shaky arm will achieve this blurred sensation of happiness!


Geeky-intelligent-look: Look slightly down, then up at the camera, purse your mouth in a random expression of intelligence and click the shutter. Bam. Perfecto.
Disclaimer: at this point the photographer would recommend thinking about turning off the camera.

I-do-like-ducklings-grin: All out. Flash those pearls and squeal with excitement simultaneously shaking  your already shaking hand harder so your face will have a nice grainy look to it. With a lot of love and effort, this technique is a big time hit every time!


Hello-there-random-face: Close your eyes and think chocolate fudgey bars. Open your eyes quick, whoop "hello!", hold your left arm in a pose of confusion and bang-bang the shutter release! Winner every single time!

There you have it. Self portraits to die for. So go out - grab your camera and shoot some amazing goodness! Your point-and-shoot photos will never be the same! Live the adventure!

Note from the author: written to express my disgust for cliche self-portraits and to prove that I'm not so serious or abnormal. Just normal and random. Genuinely me - in front of a camera taking ridiculous self-portraits. But for your info: I don't normally go around smiling dorkily....unless I am smiling dorkily - which I do on occasional spasms of contagious happiness. Like when someone gets engaged.

Double P.P.S: if I was ever brave enough to pass out tracts...how cool are these?

7 comments

  1. Hahahahahaha!

    Too cute. If this were a Facebook post, I would like it.

    And nice bangs.

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  2. These are, without a doubt, the most helpful and eye-opening photography tips I've ever read. My portraits will never be the same. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.

    LOL!

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  3. @ Allison - *seriously* I am extremely pleased and happy to have helped your photography career in any way.

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  4. You are so funny! Your post always make me laugh :) Love your photos~

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  5. You can always make me laugh. ;) Someday when we go to Africa together or I move to Wisconsin we can give a self portrait tutorial together!

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  6. Loved this "educational" post, Floppy! ;) I was endued with knowledge...lol

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Maira Gall