how to successfully park a car 5 minutes late

{1} Always assume there is not an available parking space. That means: go down the road backwards, because there's always parking spaces on the other side.

{2} Don't park next to creepy alleyways. There's a reason no one else parks there, either.

{3} Side streets are your friends. They don't mind if you pull in them to turn around fifty times. 
{4} At the first available spot that does not involve parallel parking, take it. Even if that means you have a 50% chance of hitting the other car.

{5} Turn off your lights. Please, it's just embarrassing running back to your obscure parking spot you finally found fifty miles away. It's also hard to run in a pencil skirt and high-heels. Just. saying.

{6} Don't turn around next to the police station. 

{7} Read signs carefully. This is imperative, because you may read them wrong and assume parking there is illegal - when it actually isn't - and take the desperate alternative of parking on the busiest street in your town. If you fail rule #5 on the busiest street in town, it takes forever to re-cross the street to turn off your lights.

{8} Bring a coat. Because you'll be walking an hour to your destination.

{9} Don't park next to an occupied car if you're not sure you are skilled enough to fit into the parking space. It's.....awkward.

{10} In which I share the biggest secret: learn to parallel park. Suddenly, a whole world of parking spaces becomes available. And for those of you who have not taken their driver's test - never assume they will not ask you to parallel park. Enough said.

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Maira Gall