15.8.14

sunbeams

VIA
I had one of those nights when I went to bed knowing that tomorrow is going to be horrible.
It's like, where you almost don't want to fall asleep because if you really do fall asleep (ha. insomnia. not happening) then that horrible tomorrow will be there.
Well.
I fell asleep.
And woke up.
Dead tired.
Yes. Bad day. I'm not getting up.
So I fell back asleep.
And woke up, gritting my teeth to glance at the clock and see how lazy I was this morning. 

And. . . right there, on the pink wall I always thought was a tad too pink, was a little patch of sunshine.
Pretty.
Actually. There was about ten little sunbeams peeping through the shades, dancing on the floor, and one on the cheerful homemade quilt flung on the rocking chair.

Suddenly, I was insanely happy about those sunbeams.
Still dead tired. Still upset about my insomnia.
But who cares. Sunbeams!!

I think I realized right then, that life is always imperfect. And there's always complaints and hurts. But there are just as many - if not more - of the things in life that I can thank God for.
My groggy brain processed this:
Thank you God for sunbeams.
. . .
annnnd today. Yeah. Today. I'm alive, aren't I? Well, hmm...thank you that I'm alive.
. . .
Ew. I really don't want to do anything today. But thank you for today anyhow...
oh. and you. You're alive. You're God. You saved me. Thank you for your new mercies every morning.
and the sun - it's shining. I'm dead tired but you know I love sunshine - so. . .thank you for the sunshine! 
. . .
Hm. Bethany. Today is going to be a good day. God is here. . .yeah. . .hm. everything is going to be okay.
.
{ clock blares 10:02 }
oh.
I should get up.

6 comments

  1. Does your entire family suffer from insomnia?

    You must be insufferably rich. ;)

    Ecclesiastes 5.12

    There's another verse about sparrows and worrying in Mathew.

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  2. Um, I'm pretty sure insomnia is common to EVERYBODY, Tragedy101, and it's not necessarily linked to worrying or being rich. :P

    Bethany, this post cracked me up!! My brain runs along the same lines, especially when I've been an insomniac the night before. ;)

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  3. ...That was me this morning...
    Thank you for making me smile :)
    Hannah P

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  4. I know this feeling - when you are falling asleep way too late and you just KNOW you HAVE to get up at five o'clock. Very sad! But good days are still for the tired. :)

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  5. Sunbeams are the best. and it's good to be alive.

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  6. I had to share this with you, Bethany:
    The morning after I read your post, I again felt like NOT getting out of bed and beginning a new day. Then, after several (and I mean several) dreary minutes of trying to force myself awake, I remembered your encouraging words (the "sunbeams"), and suddenly realized that it wasn't so hard to pull myself up and out of bed. I then had a rather ridiculous though as I was remembering the words in your post, and glanced over at the clock...
    It was 10:02 in the morning.
    God certainly does have a sense of humor in the way that He works :)
    Hannah Piotraschke

    ReplyDelete

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