10.10.14

a word on crushes

I became the first girl in our homeschool group to actually be in a relationship with a guy.
(I don't dare call it dating or courting because people always get offended or they tell me I'm too young. So I'll just leave it awkwardly undefined.)

Literally, the next day, suddenly I was the "master of relationships". And I've had a few girls timidly (or not so timidly) send me a fifty-page email halfway filled with exclamation points and sentences of exasperated help-I-don't-know-what-to-do!!!!

The most dominant question people ask me:
WHAT DO I DO IF A GUY LIKES ME!??

(and I ask. . .do I look like I have a solid answer?!?)

ACCORDING TO MY PHILOSOPHY:
The first step is to calm down. It's a fact of life. Guys generally like girls and you are definitely a girl, so don't be surprised if it happens. You're not some horrible person because a guy likes you. it. happens.

(step 1/2. If he is weird - plan escape routes or an eloquent speech to tell him you are absolutely uninterested. hiring a personal bodyguard in disguise as your twin brother, works too.)

The second realization is that you don't have to do anything. If a guy likes you, sheesh - you don't have to reply to him. Especially if you can't seriously date / court / whatever with him. Emotions are icky-sticky-stuff that just gets complicated. Don't bother plunging into a whole dramatic mess over something that can be easily resolved by ignoring or wisely replying, "hey. . .I'm not interested in guys because I'm barely halfway through high school!"


Sure, as girls - duh, we find guys interesting (or you will. don't freak out. it's life, it's not awkward as long as it's in all propriety) but we've got to make wise decisions. 

Chasing guys, is not a wise decision. Neither is being an obnoxious flirt. Neither is pining away for romance when you can't even get your driver's license or graduate high school.

All that back and forth, "HEY I LIKE YOU TOOOOOOO!!!! <3 <3 <3" just makes things unnecessarily awkward. If he keeps bugging you, tell him to knock it off. It's none of his business anyway. It's not impossible to simply be aloof and not tell him absolutely nothing, because you are in no way obliged to answer him. 

Don't start mooning about romance and feel pressured to reply to him for fear you'll lose the first guy who actually likes you.

Just.
Be chill.
Cry to your mommy + sisters + pillow if it's going to be life changing.
(the truth of the matter is: mother's are very experienced and interested if a guy likes you or if you like a guy. You'll have a wonderful mother/daughter conversation, and I promise you, it won't be awkward! Just take a deep breath and say, "hey mom, there's this guy. . ." and chances are, she probably already knows all about it!)

Summary.
Crushes are normal, not a big deal, and aren't worth freaking out about.
You don't have to say anything.
If you aren't ready to seriously consider marriage in a year or two - stupid emotional games are a waste of time. Be wise!
And.
#1 RULE THAT EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO:
Talk to your mommy, and not me. She's got a better philosophy. ;)

5 comments

  1. Bravo! Crushes really aren't that complicated. :P

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  2. Sage advice. My favorite part is, "...and chances are, she probably already knows all about it!"

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  3. SOOOOOOOOO SORRY for all those emails its just confusing and I find it easier talking to a good friend like you then my mom we have never been close so yeah its just easier complaining to you then to my mom THANKS FOR THE LISTENING EAR YOUR A GREAT FRIEND

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    Replies
    1. @ Anon - don't be sorry about the emails. :D Haha, we both know the horrors of my procrastination!! I should be the one apologizing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Maira Gall