last call for college / rant #2

I don't email. 
But when I do, I have a million electronic-college pals who adore me in every single continuous stream of emails.
I'm delighted.

Apparently, my artistic skills are just too much to pass up.
My piano is known to the ends of the world.
It's not too late to find my perfect match (er, college match, that is)

In lieu of opening every single email and searching for the microscopic "unsubscribe" button, I open my rant here.

Guys. I'm not going to college. 

No, I'm not bored with life, and now that you mention it - I'm looking forward to never having to eat the gourmet campus suppers 24/7 and study for exams at 2 am, all while dealing with the drama of so-and-so with so-and-so and the ramen noodles I exploded in the microwave.
(ew. I don't even eat ramen noodles. I would never survive as a college student.)

Question of  the year:

Well. Sit at home and do nothing of course. Absolutely nothing. There is no life for me besides college.
I'll just be a lazy couch potato the rest of my life.
My stars.

The truth is, I know what I'm doing with my life and it sure isn't college. I know very well that there is purpose for me wherever I end up. And even if I'm stuck cleaning up cat droppings, chopping fudge for customers, snuggling with Caroline and hoeing weeds for a living -
I'm going to have just as much fun, learn just as much, and find just as much purpose as any college student struggling to stay awake during economics.

Not like I'm ditching everybody going to college (which is. . .literally everyone. Except me and my bro - who enlisted in the Army) - woohooo and yay for you!

I'll gladly refer my lovable college buddies to your email address, if you would care to have a last-minute overnight tour before it's TOO LATE TO APPLY!
In the meantime, can I please worry about graduating high school? =)


  1. Hahahaha I just love you. This is great.

  2. Don't worry! There is always next year for college. I took a Psych. class at our community college, when I was thirty. And I was the youngest person there, excluding the professor.

  3. lol:) Hang in there. I totally agree: God does call some people to go to college. Others, he doesn't. His plan is unique for every person and bashing the ones who are called to something other than the norm, is DEFINITELY not right.
    People will get over it, eventually.

  4. You are making this into way too much drama.

  5. I LOVE the picture :)
    Hannah P

  6. Aidan, behave yourself. ;) Bethany, your "drama" cracks me up (reminds me of many of my favorite literary characters!) especially because this is how I often talk in my own head about things. Only--mine usually stays there, even though I often wish I could express it. Maybe when I'm 80 I'll have time to write a blog. :) By then I'll have life all figured out. ;)


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Maira Gall