30.3.15

wish I were brave

There's all this hype about being confident, facing your insecurities, and living life while laughing at adversity. Those people are carefree, strong, and gorgeous just being themselves.

I wish I could say I am one of those people. But the truth is, I'm really not.
This is for all of you who are insecure and self-conscious: you're not alone.

It's okay to try and be brave, but if you're not - you're not.
If you think you're ugly - don't bash yourself. (the truth is, most girls have thought this at one time. Guilty as charged.)
If you don't want to say something because you're self-conscious - don't do it. (why torture yourself if your personality says no? if it needs to be said, say it. otherwise, don't.)
If you want to wear makeup and feel pretty - don't feel pressure to stuff it under the counter. (it's okay whether you decide to wear or not to wear makeup. it's your choice. why is this such a big issue?!?)
If you copy something because you're not creative enough - who cares? (we're not all Mozarts when it comes to creativity. just as long as it's not plagiarism, you're good.)
If you quietly dislike who you are - you don't have to embrace yourself. (um, because God has a thing or two to say about embracing yourself. . .like nothing.)

I'm sick of being told I need to be confident in who I am. No one is perfect they say, but you don't have to embrace every single imperfection. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to change for the better. What's up with all this pressure to love yourself according to the inner-love gospel?
I don't think there's anything wrong with being weak.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being normal and unextraordinary (normal girls struggle with who they are. it's a battle we all face, so let's not shove it under the rug.)

It's never okay to be depressed about yourself, or chronically hate who you are to the point where it consumes you. But you don't need to be infatuated with your inner/outer beauty (or lack thereof) and force yourself to be something you're not. Don't flaunt who you are or who you aren't in an attempt to be brave.
It doesn't matter if you're pretty or if you're not. It doesn't matter if your smart or slightly unintelligent. It doesn't matter if you break every single social law of being a cool girl.
You are who you are.
Now get out there and focus on someone and something else!

10 comments

  1. And maybe being able to get to that point, where you look at yourself in the mirror and say it's okay to be me, just exactly as I am-- you have to be brave. When you say to yourself, "you need to change, so get up and do something about it,"-- you need to be confident that you can do it. Wearing makeup isn't about being less confident; it's about getting yourself to the point where you are. It's just a tool. By writing all this, I do think you've become one of those strong and confident girls who know who they are.
    A degree of self love is needed. A degree of confidence is needed. I still chatter and quake when I confront people, but I do it anyway and as often as needed. Being scared isn't the enemy. Becoming frozen in fear is.
    Just my 2 cents.

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    1. @ Anon - I agree with you! I think self-confidence is unique to each individual. And it's definitely never a good idea to lapse into lukewarmness because facing hard things is just not your "thing." :)

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  2. Bethany, you really should take your own advice. You are who YOU are. "Now get out there and focus on someone and something else."

    Sides, you have no reason to be insecure about a THANG. Cus every little thang, is gonna be alright.

    You're cute. ^_^

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    1. Aidan - is this the third time we've talked about this? ^_^ You get to hear all my ugly day stories, poor thing. The whole point of this post is because I'm not really that great with battling insecurity. So, whether I'm insecure or brave I'll just have to deal with it whatever way possible. :) People shouldn't be squished for feeling ugly sometimes. Now, if I were chronically sobbing in your arms because I believed I was the world's biggest loser. . .
      (Note: that will probably happen someday. but lets just pretend it's not.)

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  3. I agree. I think it depends on why you are 'flaunting in attempt to be brave'. I've come to learn that it's ok to be the quiet one, it's ok to hold back if I'm scared. But only if I'm not fighting the holy spirit. There's been so many times where I've missed out because I wasn't brave. I've realized I can either beat myself up for that, or learn from it and move on.

    But I definitely see what you're saying and I agree. like you said..."You are who you are." :)

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    1. Jana - yes, yes, yes. I like what you said because that's what I'm thinking, but I think you wrote it better than I did. ;) There are definitely times when we need to get out of our comfort zones (ew) and do hard things. But not necessarily by forcing ourselves to be something we're not 24/7.

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    2. Piggybacking off what Jana and Anon said, I think it IS important to be brave and to push oneself to change....but the "bravery" is NOT loving yourself. It's bravery to put oneself out there to love someone else or to love God, but it's not brave to wear makeup, make small talk, or whatever other struggles we young ladies face. Those things really aren't that big of a deal, so who cares?

      Plus, you'll like this: I've been learning to leave pauses -- long awkward pauses -- in conversations with people. At school and in the workplace, people are burnt out with talking and chit chatting. It's nice to just sit and let the silence soak in.

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  4. Thank you so much for this. I have often thought it would be better to replace all of the "self-confidence" talk with talk about serving and encouraging others.

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  5. This! This is awesome! Thank you so much, girl. This needed to be said.

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  6. This is soo amazing! Thanks for sharing! <3

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Maira Gall