I Make Candy

The Routine: 9:55 I power walk down the sidewalk, yell hello to the music man opening across the street, and grapple with the candy store door (pull up, to the side, and then down. It should open.)

I throw my pink coffee mug, my pink lunch bag, and my purple purse on the counter. The IPad warms up, I turn on the flashing "Open" sign, lug out the "Free Fudge Samples!" easels, grab the caramels from the fridge, and begin the tedious task of slicing fudge for the display windows.

An old lady will come in asking for black licorice. We'll walk in circles as I show her the licorice pastels, the licorice wheels, the licorice bridge mix, the licorice pipes, the licorice bites, the licorice taffy, the old fashioned soft licorice, and the sanded licorice.

When no one's around, I turn up Michael Buble to blasting as I bag butter almond toffee or scrub some fudge spatulas.

Occasionally, I get to make a batch of fudge turtles. Slicing the caramel blocks takes about fifteen minutes (ever tried cutting huge chunks of solid caramel?)
Right when I get the caramel to the proper consistency, some customer will order five pounds of fudge and I'll have to remelt the entire bowl that is now a caramel brick.
I love it when cusomers come in (shocked like) saying, "Whoa, it smells like chocolate in here!"
Dude. You're in a candy store. 

I wear hair nets that aren't meant for long hair.
Little kids give me $10 in pennies for Toxic Waste, Nik 'n' Lips, and giant Pixie Sticks. (I'm sorry parents.)

I sometimes melt fudge into molds for different holidays. Customers think I'm some sort of frosting expert with my can of Betty Crocker Cake Decorator Pro. P.s. I'm not. 
 (poor bunny. see above photo.)

I cry while counting the till. I yell at the mop for falling over. Customers have threatened to sit on me because we don't have Bit O'Honey.
Oh, the perks. I love my job.

And P.S. No, my parents don't own the store, we don't make all the candy, and we're open 10-6. #FAQ'S.


  1. Aww! You have such a cute job! And why would anyone want "thanks" written on their chocolate Easter bunny??

  2. I'm pretty sure that bunny was excited to stand out from all the other bunnies with his flashy 'Thanks' :)

    I'm thinking we should get staff t-shirts that incorporate oompa loompas in some way. Or paint our faces orange and scare away all the customers. ;)

  3. Sounds like you have a great job. ^_^ I loved the bit about the licorice-seeking old ladies; where I work, we have thirty-somethings who are looking for some sort of bar with no sugar, no fat, and very few calories that still miraculously tastes like chocolate raspberry.

    "What do you have with no sugar, no fat, no carbs, and no calories?"
    "Um, water?"

    Yes, cutting a block of solid Carmel is not fun. We've bought a huge chunk for adding to our chocolate covered treats for new years :) Yumm!!!! Hannah Piotraschke

  5. I want your job. Period.
    Try a coffee shop! Now THAT was strenuous.


© Everyday Memoirs
Maira Gall