27.7.15

Why Brides Freak Out

I'm a naturally stressed-out person. I can easily win the award for "Top Stressed-Out Human Being Concerning Really Stupid Stuff".

But let me tell you, being a bride is different. The week before your wedding is different. Getting no sleep since three weeks ago is different.
So please refrain from:
"What are you worried about? Everything will be just fine!"
(it's not helpful.)

Let me enlighten you on why brides freak out, why it's okay, and why trying to cheer them up is even more stressful.

{1} Brides are talked into being stressed. As the wedding day approaches, countless well-meaning friends will ask, "Are you nervous?" After the twentieth time, if the Bride was not stressed out, she will feel inclined to do so (it's stressful trying to tell people why you're not stressed. But then it's a lie, because you are stressed trying to convince them you're not.)
Also, consoling words of,  "well, one thing will go wrong on your wedding day, but that's okay!" doesn't help (shocker).

{2} OCD/Perfectionism. Girls look forward to this once in a lifetime day with trepidation or excitement. Most brides want everything to be flawless or close-to-perfect-blissfulness. So even if Mom has organized schedules, the wedding coordinator has everything under control, and there's an entire decorating army - the bride still feels the brunt of responsibility/worry to make sure the day turns out alright.

{3} Daddy's girl. Don't even think about making your daddy cry. Or your mom. Or yourself. Or the groom. The thought of getting married (bliss, bliss) + the realization of growing up is just something worth getting used to. And freaking out about.

{4} No one RSVPs. Why does no one do this? The only ones who RSVP are the ones who weren't invited.

{5} Everyone else freaks out. Do not count-down my wedding please. I'm perfectly aware.

{6} You just wanna get married. I want to get married - don't get me wrong. But social events/being the center of attention/emotional break downs just make me nervous!

{7} There's nothing left to do. This bothers me the most, because I feel as if I should be planning something instead of sitting around worried that I should be planning something. #complicated

{8} Forgetting something. Probably something super important. You know, like the rings or something. No biggie.

{9} No one thinks it's okay to worry or be stressed. This is the biggest stress me out. LIKE. PLEASE. I feel better worrying about it, but telling me again and again and again not to freak out is like telling me not to breath oxygen. Who in their right brain tries to be stressed out? Uh, like, no one. I can't always understand why my emotion of the day is screaming on the rooftops scared, but it is, so. please. be. considerate. Or just ignore me. :)

{10} The deplorable realization that elopement sounds so much better. That's just plain insensitive to say out-loud. ;)

Just pat stressed out brides on the back and say, "it'll be okay."
This affirms you accept they're stressed/scared/frazzled. This also affirms you love them and don't try to analyze their ballistic emotions. This affirms it really is okay because you don't make a huge effort to convince her otherwise.

P.s. It will be okay. I'm excited to get married. I love Aidan. I'm just letting you know what goes inside frazzled girls brains. Don't freak out about it either (see #9) Also, I'm not always freaked out. but when I am...

5 comments

  1. I'll be OK, Bethany, it'll be OK. I can totally understand being stressed out about it, lol. At my brother's wedding I noticed all the hundred little details that I'd never even thought about before and realized what a lot of work it actually is (even more than I had before). It'll be OK, though. Just breathe ;)

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  2. It'll be okay. When all the people around you are trying their best (because they love you so much), the results will exceed your expectations. I was so nervous about doing my little sister's once-in-a-lifetime bridal hairstyle that my hands were shaking, but she loved how it turned out. Our church and family pulled together and worked so hard and everything turned out just fine and guests actually gave us COMPLIMENTS on how beautiful the wedding was!
    So, yes; it will be okay. :)
    <><

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  3. Girl, I know how ya feel! {I was actually about to sit down and write a very similar post...}

    It's tough. But once upon a time, somebody sent me a really encouraging note about wedding planning, that makes me smile every time I think of it... allow me to return the favor ;)

    Of course it's exhausting. Of course it's nerve wracking. OF COURSE you feel like your head is no longer attached to your shoulders (Did you check under the pile of gifts for your bridesmaids? It might be under there. Just sayin') But you've got this. It's going to be a beautiful expression of you and Aidan - just start repeating the positive!

    Love you, Bethany!

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  4. these made me laugh and remember how true most of them are! Your wedding will come and go great and you will be happily married and that is the best part of life! :)

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  5. Oh Bethany! I just finished reading all your updates! I hadn't been on in forever! SOOOO EXCITED! YAY It's like.. in a few days! Yippeeee! I can't wait for pictures! SO much love to you!!!!!

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