9.8.16

Top 5 | Pregnancy Questions I Hate


FACE IT.
The moment you enter adulthood, you will go through many stages that arrive with unfortunate small-talk questions. To get what I mean:
Graduating? Everyone wants to know your college plans. Engaged? Boom. Conversations are strictly wedding related. Married? You will be asked "how's married life" at least twelve times a day.
Pregnant girls ain't no different. Let me introduce my Top 5 Pregnancy Question I Hate.

UNO: "Any cravings yet?"
This would be an okay question if A) I had cravings or B) I had really unique cravings worth small-talking about. But no, I don't have any cravings and my diet is absolutely mundane. My old man friend/know-it-all pregnancy consultant constantly assures me that, "Well, they're coming soon! Just you wait."
(no cravings = invalid pregnancy? I guess?)

DOS: "What's your nursery theme?"
Ugh. People.
Here we are: year two in marriage, husband in school, two part-time jobs (soon to be one), one car, and a two-bed apartment. I can barely find room for a crib or enough money for a car seat. Unless second-hand is a valid nursery theme. . . I don't really have one. Except on my pinterest board, of course. :)

TRES: "How many months?"
I can't even remember if I took my prenatal pills that morning. My snazzy pregnancy app only has weeks and the fruit size of my baby. I don't know how many months along I am. You do the math.

CUATRO: "Are you married?"
Mostly in hospital situations - but I cringe every time. Does Aidan have any previous children? Are you two married, or...?
We must look like typical teen parents or something. I get that there's plenty of young single girls who are pregnant...but that's why married people wear rings, folks. Check for bling.

CINCO: "How are you feeling?"
^^ FYI, this is definitely the most overused question minus the obvious (and okay) due-date question. But frankly, you probably do not want to know how I feel and I do not want to spew my whole smiley speech of how fine I'm feeling. *CHARMING SMILE*
Because I literally threw up right before I made your latte.
I'm sorry. That's why I wore gloves.
0_o

BONUS QUESTION: "Do you have varicose veins?"Common in overweight mothers. Also supposedly caused by bending over improperly (of which I am constantly reminded by the select members of the well-meaning pregnancy police.)

ANSWER:
MIND.
YOUR.
OWN.
BUSINESS.
What woman wants to tell you if she has varicose veins?! Oh my word. The insensitivity!
But short answer is - no, I do not. Thanks.

12 comments

  1. LOL! This is hilarious! :D And good information so I know what not to ask ^_^

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  2. Ooooh, I so get you! I just announced people that we are expecting and the annoying questions started floooowing. My *favourite*(favourite= I cringe every time I hear it) is "so how many times a day do you throw up?"
    Ugh! People!!! Doing it is embarassing enough and talking about it is no consolation.
    :) but hey, at least there's a happy happy reason for all the annoying questions, right?

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    1. Oh my! What woman is going to keep track of that anyway? Haha. At least they're the ones initiating TMI! But yes, on the plus side, you always have a conversation to go to. Awkward questions and all. :)

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  3. Well at least you've got your sense of humor intact :D My favorite was 'Check for bling.' LOL
    I can't wait to see pictures of your little bundle, and I'm sure you're even more ready :D

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  4. Oh... poor you :/ I can imagine that some of these questions are annoying and can be pretty embarrassing! LOL. However, I know I'm guilty of asking a lot of those same questions (except for the throwing up and varicose veins part...*yikes*). But, A lot of times people are just so excited about your good news and don't know how to better express that, besides simply asking questions ;) I for one think it can be rude when people don't ask anything about the mom or the baby; it can come across as they're uninterested in the wonderful and blessed fact that you're expecting. But... seeing as how you feel, I will try my best not to ask you these sort of questions :P Oh!!! And did you hear my mom had her baby on Monday?!?!?!

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    1. Do not feel so inclined. :) I'm more annoyed by random people I don't know/don't know me. :) what we'll meaning friend ISN'T going to ask how I'm feeling? So no, perfectly fine.
      And I did not hear she had her baby!!! BOY OR GIRL?!

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    2. Oh, yes.... random strangers asking any of those things can be quite awkward!! I'm glad you're good with your friends talking with you about those sort of things, though :P Thank you for clarifying ;)
      My mom had a GIRL!!! Very much of a surprise since she was a week early (and my mom never goes early). 7 pounds 15 ounces, 20 1/2 inches long, and we named her Zeliah Danelle.

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  5. Bethany! You are THE cutest mama-to-be!! :) <3

    Ahh!! I laughed the whole time that I read your post! My condolences to you on having to answer the many *lovely*, repetitive questions. ;) (although you're doing a great job answering them! Haha;)

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    1. Kara! Shucks, girl. :) that makes me smile. Because sometimes I feel like a cow...
      But yes! Always a new question to add to my awkward annoyances list. Such as the snobby Donald Trump personality old man that curtly remarked, "You're barely showing. And You're such a KID." I was wearing an apron. Not exactly form fitting. ;) agh...

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  6. Oh, gosh. I laughed throughout all of this! I guess I hate, in general, how strangers/acquaintances go to things like, "How's your pregnancy coming?" or "How's marriage?" as good small talk. The answers to those questions can be so personal! But I'm not even a fan of asking, "How are you?" either -- also a super personal question. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, PEOPLE. haha

    I cannot get over how NOSY the older gentlemen in your life are! Talk about awkward!

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  7. I loved reading this post. You're so hilarious! I'm pretty sure my mom felt the exact same way. Once a stranger asked my mom if she was having twins when she was pregnant with me (and only me). Another time a person asked her when her baby was due when I was already born. Goodness, me. People can be so insensitive, and it's crazy that strangers feel obligated to ask such personal questions. My mom was also a young momma (and married) and was going to college when she was pregnant with me. I believe she wrote a paper on how people treat pregnant women differently. They (as if stranger) ask questions they feel they have the right to know and fell that it's a completely okay to rub the momma's tummy. What even?!
    P.S. I'm so super excited to see some photos of that little one when the day comes! Thanks for taking us on this journey with you. <3

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Maira Gall