18.5.17

Let's Make Mommyhood Normal

I recently read THIS MAMA'S viral post about the silence on post partum depression.

In the first photo, you see a makeupless mom wearing a stretched out tank top (what breastfeeding mom doesn't have a wardrobe of these!) in the middle of a playroom explosion. The whole picture is gloomily lit and too depressing to put on motherhood Pinterest boards or Pamper's diaper ads. The next photo shows the same scene, but this time the mother's makeup is done, the room is immaculate, and the children are dressed in cute outfits (probably Carter's) while playing like angels.

This. This article, though.

I don't have PPD, but I do sit on the floor and cry over dishes sometimes. My clothes always have spit-up on them, whether I'm still in PJ's or in an outfit I actually took the time to put together. My house is currently a train wreck, because what's the point of cleaning up when there's no one home but me to see it? Sometimes it's depressing, because I have to suppress my OCD to leave the never-ending laundry in a pile and use my time towards something else.

It does make me angry, though. Those stupid instagram posts of perfection that aren't real. The hoard of well-meaning folks who tell you to stop complaining and just, "enjoy these years" because they go by so quickly. Yes, yes they do. But did you forget about the part living on two hours of sleep? This is JUST what I need to hear at 2am in the morning, thank you.

I recently went to a coffee shop, only to have someone ask me if I was going to serve my baby caffiene in a sippy cup. What do you even say to that? Oh, right. Sorry. I'm a terrible mom because actually I drink coffee every morning. Why is your baby in a diaper? Shame on you, I have grandchildren, so I just need to check!

I don't mean to complain, but rather sweetly protest.
Dear world, can we just stop all the facades and make the normalcy of motherhood a thing? Um, actually there are Moms who drink coffee while breastfeeding and they're still good moms (p.s. their babies lived.) My baby spat up for the third time today and I don't have an extra outfit, so yes she's in a diaper and I will not use a stranger's coat to cover her up. And before you ask, yes I tried going off coffee to see if that helped with her spit-up. It didn't. We break the doctors orders and co-sleep just so we can sleep. Crazy, right? What mom needs sleep? (I have yet to meet a mom who doesn't co-sleep, but keep preaching it doctors!)


I love being a mommy. But I won't lie and tell you it's all rainbows and lollipops. It does not always involve a clean house, yummy meals, or cute clothes. It's a 24/7 job that you never get paid for and is so under-rated that the world has to make it look "pretty."

There's nothing wrong with having a "perfect" moment that is so instagram worthy that you take 5,000 photos. But I'm pretty sure all mom's will agree: it's a sacrifice of precious time just to  brush your teeth in the morning some days.
(Let me clarify: brushing your teeth is a necessary sacrifice of time. Usually. Curling your hair everyday is not.)



You know what makes mommyhood worth it? It's that somehow, in the middle of utter chaos and mashed banana, your kiddo laughs while you dance to Michael Buble in the kitchen. 
When I see Ella reach out for me when her toys get boring, it always stops my heart for a second as she screams in utter adoration (sorta an oxymoron, but it's true.) Even if I sigh because I have to stop what I'm doing AGAIN, deep down inside my mommyhood meter is filled and I'm reminded why I do it all.

Being a mommy means you embrace the inevitable mess and critics while loving your baby whether you woke up looking like Lauren Conrad or someone from the Adam's family. Let's make messy homes okay, breastfeeding a starving baby without a cover-up forgivable, stopping by a coffee shop for a much needed mommy-treat permissible, and HEAVENS letting your baby run in a diaper okay and not a cardinal sin. (dear random, well-meaning grandfathers - take note, por favor.)

And throw those Parent magazines in the trash, too. Unless you really do buy all their parent picks of the month that are more than a week's worth of groceries. But maybe you shop at Target for food instead of Aldi's? All I'm saying is:

Just be the mom you are, and be happy in the midst of messes or cleanliness.
And being sad sometimes is okay, too. :)

Cheers.

2 comments

  1. Love, love, love. So much to say but not enough brain power to say it. So, again, all I say is, love, love, love.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not a momma, but this is soooooo well said!! I'll be sharing this with one of my sweet new mom friends <3

    ReplyDelete

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Maira Gall