What Being a Parent Looks Like In Real Life

Ah. Nothing prepares you for motherhood like a baby.
But seriously. My current level of motherhood is letting my baby clean the bathroom floor with my toothbrush so I can use the toilet for five seconds (in peace.) She's teething and going through separation anxiety all at once. So... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There's no definition or description that will prepare you for life with a tiny human.
But I decided to enlighten you for a second, with a few snapshots from my daily life. Nothing staged. nothing exaggerated. Just good old parenting chaos.

Your showers pretty much don't happen. 
I snapped this photo after Ella fell into the bathtub because I had abandoned her forever and she was on a mission to return me home. Of course, I couldn't see because I was mid-shampooing my hair. Needless to say, everyone got full view of my unshaven armpits and legs for the remainder of the day. And Ella changed her outfit for like, the 12th time that morning. Nothing unusual there.

Sleeping in is a thing of the past.
This is absolute truth and probably the worst part of being alive as a parent. And let me tell ya, they don't care if it's 5:00am or 1:00am - just as long as it isn't something reasonable.
(I'm fairly certain it's been proven in science that mom's can sleep for twelve years and still be exhausted in the morning. Just sayin'.)

"Why don't you wear your hair down more often?"

You probably won't get to the dishes in a few years, so baby spoons work just fine for basically anything.
You could probably cut steak with them, if you had time to make food.
(But for real, am I the only person who does this?!)

Got milk?
My child starves to death on an average of ten times a day. At least, that's the story she tells me. Alwaaaays when we're in a time crunch, too. (for the record, she's also teething and hates pacifiers and toys. go figure.)

We don't even bother changing clothes.
Who does laundry, anyway?

Naps are BAE.
I still remember that nap. It was so good.
AND THAT NAP WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST. Except, I lost my earring somehow.

All-nighters aren't just for middle schoolers - babies, too!
I think this was around 3:20am. Ella's just chilling.

Where there's a will, there's a way.
Turns out, video games make great white noise, too. Don't judge him. :P

Silence is the enemy.
We drove all the way to Wal Mart before I discovered this disaster. Hopefully, baby wipes aren't too bad for consumption, cuz...

When in doubt, just eat pizza. Actually. Just always eat pizza.
I don't even try, anymore.

Babies. make. everything. harder.
She's so cute, though.
That spaghetti, on the other hand.
Ugh. We were in the middle of moving, too. And the spaghetti was about three weeks old (who really knows?)

Co-sleeping is no joke.
THE BABY sleeps. You don't.
(but isn't she just way too adorable?!?)

Yep. Co-sleeping.

Oh, and pregnancy ain't no joke either. #PreggerProblems

But even when parenthood has it's worst moments, there's always a million precious ones to cancel it out. She's worth all the spit up and cheerios on the floor!

...most of the time.


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© Everyday Memoirs
Maira Gall